T.H.U.G.W.A.Y : Dedication

T.H.U.G.W.A.Y : Dedication: .....I run to the podium out of breath while trying to gather my thoughts nervous because I'm who they came to see. I clear my throat and th...

Dedication

.....I run to the podium out of breath while trying to gather my thoughts nervous because I'm who they came to see. I clear my throat and the words become formed as such; " first and foremost I'd like to thank the head of my life and the giver of my blessings, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I want to thank my mother for staying on my neck when the time was right to apply pressure. To my father for riding with me even on the occasions I was wrong, may you both rest in peace. I have to mention the Michigan Department of Corrections for being a roof over my head when the streets would no longer have me. And to the mother of my children I salute you, because although child support on my head, me and you know what's really real.......I truly don't want to forget nobody..............shout out to the ones on the side line waiting on me to stumble, as you can see I still haven't got this walk down pack. One love to the dope fiends (including my family) that kept a dollar in my pocket and a sandwich in my my stomach, this is for you. For all my fallen soldiers, dead or in jail, for you! I can't forget facebook for allowing me to vent and put my life on center stage. If not for you I know I wouldn't have 1200 friends(most of them unknown). Last but not least, to me, for standing up even when the world has knocked me down. I've always loved the fact that tough times were  a part of the resume and I make the people see how I move. I damn near forgot Satan .....bless you . You have kept me alert for quite some time now, making my life one hellavue ride...damn near dead, damn near dead. To all of those that made me who I'am............thank you! your support has been everything I thought it would be, bless you and good night.
                                                                                                       T.H.UG.W.A.Y.

Am I a Bandwagoner?

Hebrews 11:1 NIV Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.                 

   I  often take pride in supporting my Lions, Pistons, Tigers, and Pats....(I'll stop for the sake of reasoning), I'll pay high internet and satellite bills to follow them. Trust me,  I am no bandwagoner. Over the past decade the Lions have lost games in every way imaginable, the Pistons have gone from lingering among the NBA elite three straight lottery picks, yet somehow I am able to envision a playoff run at the start of each season. I am no bandwagoner. I somehow conjure a way to have faith in the fact that the current selection of players, front office decision makers, and even bumbling owners will make something happen. After the Lions went 0-16 I still found myself explaining how that was a step forward.... I am no bandwagoner! I guess you can say I have faith in my teams. Each loss brings along its share of heartache and gut wrenching pain....the second guessing literally can last for weeks. What could they have done different  in order to justify my faith in their ability to win as I see them fit. I am no bandwagoner.
     
    ....But sometimes I ask myself, am I a bandwagon christian? What ridiculous price am I willing to pay  as a show of faith in God? When was the last time I sacrificed the last word for peace? Or better yet, do I excercise my faith in trying times, or do I accept what appears to be defeat. Am I a bandwagon child of God? Am I ready to accept the flashy blessings and generous amounts of favor with a smile, never expecting to experience struggle and strife? I will admit I have done more than my fair share of shouting to upper manangement, but am I a bandwagon christian? ,How often do I rely on my own understanding in lieu of what I know to be The Truth.Did Jesus die for a bandwagon believer??? I ask this question to me...#) ...You can interview yourself. This I KNOW...a sure win is in the bag!

The Kite

            Dear Soldiers,Comrades and Enemies,
       It is my hopes ,prayers and dreams that my words reach you in good health,mentally,physically as well as spiritually.As for me I'm doing well as can be expected given the hardship I face on a daily basis, but I'm sure yours is worst.Therefore my words may not bring comfort but I understand you still.....my wish is that my words will speak of empathy.
       Reality speaks for itself,what I'm doing ,where I'm going.I swear you know better than anybody what it means to embark on a life of destruction,walking around blinded. Believe it or not I'm doing what they never thought I'd do and they still talk about me, but I guess you got to lose a few to gain the few that counts. Just know the skull dugery in me is no more bro!I have kids now and like I think about them daily, I'm sure you have nightmares and cold sweats when you thing about yours. Oh yea if you ain't heard Auntie dead.Real talk ,it's tight on everybody.....man we just went to a funeral last week.Dawg little brother had to be cremated because his family was broke...no stash,no insurance.I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss you.In all reality things just aint the same.You gotta come home fammo!The kids miss you and mama do too.I would tell you about what's her name but I want you to concentrate on touching down.If you ain't heard I put the sack away,yea man I don't hustle no more,I been off into church and working on a book.You know that I know what it feels like to be captured and caged.All I can say is appeal it.....to give you natural life is for you to give it to God,He got the last say over your life. Pops birthday just passed, and I know if he was here he would've enjoyed himself. So what's been happening with you, I heard you just got out the hole for fighting?.....Bro you better remember that's their house and you can't win, all they do is keep adding time, time you'll never get back. We need you out here with us! But until you come home, hold your head and remember I'm rooting for you, I don't care what we didn't get along about. Oh yea, grandma said send you a scripture.....Psalm 31.
                                                                                                          Love is Love,
                                                                                                          T.H.U.G.W.A.Y.

Still Thugging

Thug n.a hoodlum or ruffian; formerly,a professional assassin in India; Today's thug comes in many more forms and the definition is much more wide spread.A young man with a ball cap,sagging jeans and a knack for speaking Ebonics fluently can be considered a thug.There should be no argument that before Tupac emerged on the scene in the early 90's the word thug was rarely if ever used to describe a black man.I myself began using the word about that time because I felt it was a title that would give my life meaning,as if it would strengthen my standing in the community as somebody not to f#ck with.(today I continue to use the word only in a different context)As I stated earlier many names have been derived from the word thug such as goon or gangsta to describe ourselves and others.In order to drive the title home what recent generations of men have done is become murderers,killing off potential doctors,lawyers and maybe even community leaders.I guess what I'm saying is many families will never get the chance to see what one would've became and this goes for the incarcerated as well.The streets of the inner cities such St.Louis, Chicago, Detroit, Flint and countless others are running crimson with the blood of our youth, OUR FUTURE! One of the things I've noted is that we have men and women with resources to reach out but refuse to because of the fear of failure or they feel their time would be wasted(we have to get them while they're young). As I've stated in previous writings I myself was once part of the problem instead of part of the solution. It took the majority of my youth and adulthood of being in institutions,being shot six times,homelessness and estranged from my family to finally begin to think straight. Not to brow beat anyone but God spared my life as He have with others and for that I'm indebted to my children and yours as well.Too many times we make it out never having the commonsense or compassion to reach back and help someone else,not even our own. The saying goes "it takes a village to raise a child",and I believe that to be true. The only reason black men are not extinct is because black women are producing more babies that thy're not even capable of caring for. I'am deathly afraid for my son so with every passing day I hope and pray for his well being but whatever he becomes in life I know that I have played a role, a major role(what now comes to mind is save our sons and daughters)-James Doe 1776

Till death do us part

....The divorce rate among blacks is higher than any other ethnic group,coming in at 70%,why is this?Statistics show we also have the lowest rate when it simply comes to getting married.Researchers have attributed this to our economic situations the same way they have explained our incarceration status(poverty).I will be honest in saying that I fall into this category having spent several years in prison,then to get married and quickly divorced.I have witnessed first hand the affect this has had on my children and I must say it's devastating.Truth of the matter is our children become displaced and divided often times because of custodial  rights.They are forced to choose between mother and father and to decide who was the cause of the separation of family;I honestly believe that we as African Americans forget that we have made a vow to God to love one another for rich or poor,through sickness or in health,till death do us part;The fact of the matter is we have now labeled ourselves and refer to one another as "baby daddy" and "baby mama",giving way to the black family as a whole.I'll be first to agree that all relationships are not healthy and that separation and ultimately divorce is the best answer.When I think of the reasons why my own marriage did not sustain the test of time,I can only think of that old cliche that says "a family that prays together stays together";so many of us did not pray for a soul mate(someone evenly yoked with ourselves)but yet we stand at the alter vowing before God to love,honor and protect.It is my belief that we initially enter into these unions in hopes that a ring and title will solidify our status in society or at the very least  it will offer security.I could be wrong but I believe that communication and prayer before marriage is the essential keys to its survival.I'd like to close by saying that I commend and tip my hat to the men and women who have stuck by that vow and continue to fight together instead of with one another.(if The Lord never sends a soul mate,it it because He wants you to marry Him) Revelations 19:9   -James Doe 1776

"Cold Term"

....all the things,the objects,the cold freeze of the cemetary while passing.I think of the people there.White inside outside on horses trotting ignorantly;there is so much pain for our blackness,yet so much beauty there.If we would only think to what our beautiful selves would make of this world.....we would be steaming,turning blackouts over the heart of our city;allowing our love to hover,waiting for our lives to arrive at ecstasy.
....why can't we love each other and be beautiful?Why does our beauty corner each other and spit poison?Why are the beautiful not living together and understanding each others trials?........tell me why are the beautiful not walking with their arms around each other,laughing softly at the comedy of black beauty?;I know I've roamed a thousand miles searching for myself,trying to salvage my black beauty.....and yet still in the silence,staring at my people,looking at all the death of this black beauty,I can't help but wonder....why are the beautiful divided like myself?-unknown
"I'd rather be straddling the fence than to be caught in the devils backyard"-James Doe 1776